wanky trip

So I passed my driving test. Some mong friend of Stacy's asks if I will take him for a ride. Stacy can't come because she's crocheting bodywarmers for orphaned ladybirds.

I'm actually quite happy to drive around for as long as he wants, so when he says he wants to take some acid that's okay by me. I make sure I am driving very slowly past Highgate Cemetery when he's coming up. When we hit town again I turn the radio on and wait for the news.

		"Shit. Oh my fucking god." I half-scream, "Can you believe that?" "Believe what?" "We're at war with Russia. Perestroika, Glasnost... it was all a trick. Gorbachev - You bastard." "What?"

"Weren't you listening to the news? Yeah. It's all fucked, man."
I lean back and hit the steering wheel hard.
"SHIT!"
"Calm down, dude." he says
"Calm down? Calm down? The Russians, dude. War!"
"Really?"
"We could have just minutes left," I say, "Everything you see - all the cars all the shops, this carriageway, this car, us... it could all be dust by nine o' clock... Shit!"

We stop at the lights.

"Buddy, do me a favour," I say, "Just give me a quick hug, will you? Good to know you. Really. I'm sorry."

I pull away from the lights and let that sink in for a bit. I glance at him. He's frantically chewing a shoe lace. He's still wearing the shoe.
"There's only one thing to do" I say eventually.
His eyes are popping out of his head now. He's at Defcon One.
"What? WHAT??!!"
"Drive to Las Vegas" (We're in Stoke Newington now).
"Yeah!"
"The spinning wheel! Round and round! Yeah! Faster! Faster!"
"Yeah! Wooo!"
"We'll put it all on red."
He looks worried again.
"Why red?"
"Your blood."
"What? What about my blood?"
"It's turning black."
He's clawing at his skin.
"WHAAT?"
"It's okay. Don't freak. We'll just put it all on black instead. We can't lose."
"Oh. Of course."

Oh yes. We've got all night, my lovely. All night.